Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Randomize
