from now on my penis is your penis
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
