i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
