We named our party play list daddy issues
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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