just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
