So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
