so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
