You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
