So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
