Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
