dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I wish I only lived at night.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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