Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
