found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
