Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
