please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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