What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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