I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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