Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
