Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
