To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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