12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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