Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize