Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
