i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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