In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I need to sanitize my soul.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
