he puts the penis in happiness.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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