Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
