i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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