my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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