atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My day in three words: secret purse cake
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
