why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
