shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
How's work?
Spinning.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
