as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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