Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We have so much sex to catch up on
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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