You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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