we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
