I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
