i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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