If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
