is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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