I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
