you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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