Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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