So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
