WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize