i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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