you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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