Ambien. No doubt about it.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
