I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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