She's JV to your varsity
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
