There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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