PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
zippers are such a cool invention
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
