You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
