I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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