I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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