Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
