He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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