We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
