Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
