dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
