Reggie can tackle my bush.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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