Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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