I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize