goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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