I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
