I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
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