I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
